University Of Michigan

Been a while since I've updated. Things have been ok, but somewhat stressful.

As we continue this journey with our son, we and our son both have gone through the whole gambit of emotions. There is a lot of anger, sadness, depression, frustration, desperation and fear.

Finally received clearance from the insurance company so he can have a consultation at the University of Michigan, an out of network provider. We practically had to pull teeth to do it, though as this is a State HMO and there are so many restrictions. I believe they do this on purpose feeling you'll throw your hands up and give up since there are so many other things you must deal with and you'll just go "the hell with it" and let the insurance companies have their own way. They have also been denying my son a lot of the medicines he takes for either nausea or appetite such as Marinol (which is a medicinal marajuana) stating it's "experimental" or "formulatory" whichever that means. The previous carrier that we had prior to this carrier always approved it.

He has so far received a round of chemo (part 1 done one Friday, then part 2 of the first round done the Friday after) and goes back this Friday for a check up then round 2 the following Friday. He's doing it outpatient, which he's happy about, but he's not as well hydrated with IV's and Zofran as he would be in the hospital as they run him on meds 24/7 for the time he's in there plus they give him a nausea patch to wear on his neck.

I notice the doubt in my son's eyes that he's going to make it. He's become brooding, angry, frustrated at the whole matter, which who can blame him, only being 23 years old. He should be in schoool, working, enjoying life with his buddies, etc. not constantly being sick and wondering what the future holds. My poor son...I love him so much. I never had any trouble with this kid; he was always bright and sunny and everyone loves him. I always had a deep sinking feeling in my soul that something was going to happen to him. Call it mother's intuition, not sure, but I was always afraid something would happen to him.

He doesn't talk to us much, he just sleeps a lot and when he feels good, he'll watch TV or play on the computer. My family has been very supportive, sending him money for expenses, baskets of goodies and a former teacher who retired and moved out of state has been knitting him hats in case he loses his hair again. His former co workers put together a Valentine's basket and brought it over last Saturday. He still does not want to see anyone or talk to anyone from his past. His friends are all extremely worried for him, but I can't force him to talk to them on the phone or meet up with them.

He hasn't had much of an appetite, but last night he made a tuna sandwich and made a total mess of the kitchen. My husband got somewhat upset, but it's just the frustration of it all.

Till next time.....